32 Funniest Dad Jokes You Won’t Resist Laughing At

(Last Updated On: May 8, 2018)

1.

Son: “Dad, I’m hungry”

Dad: “Hi hungry, I’m Dad”

 

2.

Dad: Did you hear about the crazy Mexican killer?!

Daughter: No…

Dad: He had Loco motives!

 

3.

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?

The flag is a big plus.

 

via GIPHY

4.

I’m terrified of elevators,

But I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

 

5.

You should never try to use a pencil with a broken tip….

I mean, there’s just no point.

 

6. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”

 

7.

CASHIER: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?”

DAD: “No, just leave it in the carton!’”

 

8. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

via GIPHY

 

9. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

 

10. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine

 

11.

Son: Hey dad, I’m cold

Dad: Go stand in the corner

Son: Why?

Dad: Because the corner … is 90 degrees…

 

12.

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

 

via GIPHY

13.

Dad: I really miss driving my mini-Jedi master
Son: Your what……
Dad: You don’t remember my Toy Yoda?

 

14.

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the dock

 

15.

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

 

via GIPHY

16.

I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet…

I don’t know why.

 

17.

Why aren’t Koala Bears really bears?

Because they don’t have the Koalaifications

 

18.

Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well.

 

via GIPHY

19.

RIP boiling water.

You shall be mist.

 

20.

Yesterday I saw an ad that said “radio for sale,$1,volume stuck on full”

I thought, “I can’t turn that down”

 

21.

Why is Thor’s brother so relaxed all the time?

I don’t know — he’s just low-key

 

22.

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

via GIPHY

 

23. When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that’s a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

 

24. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

 

25. I’d tell you a steak joke but they’re never well done.

via GIPHY

 

26.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies

 

27.

Did you hear about the english teacher who went to jail?

She got a full sentence

via GIPHY

 

28.

A man tried to sell me a coffin…

I told him that’s the last thing I need

 

29.

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two…

 

30.

Jokes about unemployed people aren’t funny.

They just don’t work.

via GIPHY

 

31. “Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

 

32. “Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”